OBSESSION OR LOVE?

OBSESSION OR LOVE?

I had drawn on the sand

Her sweet face that smiled at me

Then it rained on this beach

In this storm, she disappeared

And I shouted, shouted, Aline, for her to come back

And I cried, cried, oh! I was in too much pain

(Christophe)

I know I've told you once before that I love French music. And Aline is one of my favorite songs. The sound of the lyrics makes us travel through parallel universes and makes us feel the despair of unrequited love. We can say that Aline is very lucky... someone loves her so much, but so much, that she can't settle for losing her to the world. But... is it so good to have someone so in love with us? Someone who is simply desperate when the relationship ends and each has to follow their destiny? As beautiful as a love of this size may seem, the answer is no. It's not good to have someone so obsessed with us... and for a very simple reason... the obsession isn't love... it's actually a feeling of ownership of something that's suddenly lost, and that's why, and just for that, the pain of loss cannot be measured. And therein lies the danger. If someone feels like he owns you, sentimentally speaking, at some point he will try to stifle your autonomy, he will try to become your desire and will, not letting you be who you are in your fullness. Because you are nothing more than the beginning and end of the love that someone thinks they feel in life...

When a person loves another, all he really wants is for the person he loves to be happy. Under no circumstances will you try to nullify the personality of the person you love, because that is what attracted your attention and made you fall in love. She loves the real person. However, some people idealize the loved one and, when they discover that the person of their dreams exists only in their dreams, they try by all means to mold them so that they correspond to their desires, their aspirations. It's not uncommon to hear from the mouth of some people "I like so and so much... I'm going to make him change his ways about this or what I don't like..."

It's all wrong, isn't it? If you love so-and-so but want some aspect of your personality to change to match your vision of perfection, then what you really need is a mirror to look at yourself in, because it's not the person you're in love with... it's for yourself...

Cases of post dating persecution (the ends of relationships) have everything to do with this. When a person starts chasing his ex lover, it's not because he loves him... it's simply because he can't get over the loss of the object he had by his side... yes, the person was transformed into a simple object that the other possessed, and which she suddenly lost... but she does not accept this, because what is hers no one else can possess. Strange? Not at all, if you think you've already heard the phrase "so-and-so is mine, and I won't share with anyone"... well, just to start the conversation, so-and-so doesn't belong to anyone, after all he's a thinking being , who has their dreams and desires... if at some point you discovered that the person next to you did not correspond to what you expected, it is your right to leave them behind and go to another, in search of your happiness. That's how life should go, after all... it should, but it doesn't always.

What many people fail to understand is that love is a feeling that makes us want the loved one to be happy in all its fullness. After all, it is not an object that we can maneuver according to our desires. No. It is a human being, for whom we happen to have a feeling of tenderness. And the only thing we want is for her to be happy. Even if it's not by our side. Even if it's next to someone else. Because that's what true love is. It's wishing that the loved one really lives love in all its fullness.

When we hear that a person has sworn death to another because the latter stopped loving him, when we hear that a person says to his partner that, if she leaves him, he won't belong to anyone else... well, there is not the slightest sign of love for each other. Because you will never want to destroy your loved one. What kind of love is this, that prefers to destroy the "loved" person rather than let them move on with their lives and be happy? The answer is simple... it's not love. It is simply a sense of ownership. Nobody kills or dies for love, because that's not what love is, love doesn't condone violence. Love is a sublime feeling, where the well-being of the loved one comes first...

It's six hours and thirty minutes into this beautiful and wonderful Tuesday that is just beginning... we're at 21ºC at the moment, and we could reach 30ºC today... as usual, it might rain...

May God bless us all this Tuesday and grant us the grace of a simply beautiful and wonderful day, as yesterday was. Life is simply beautiful and we must live it to the fullest... See you tomorrow, God willing...