THE CRYSTAL CUP - Chapter thirty two

 THE CRYSTAL CUP

Chapter thirty two

- Ricardo, we need to talk.

It was Roseli, leaning her lover/husband against the wall. She came to the conclusion, after much thought, that she should have a heart-to-heart with her partner. He also thought the same thing, but he didn't have the courage to start this kind of conversation...

- Can't we leave this conversation for tomorrow? I'm tired, and I have to get up very early...

- No… we need to talk and it has to be now…

- But why all this urgency, creature?

- Ricardo, it's not working...

- What's not working?

- The two of us… the two of us are not working out, Ricardo…

- Why do you think that?

- I don't believe…

- What don't you believe, girl?

- That you can't see that the two of us are walking towards the abyss...

- You're being too dramatic...

- Oh, am I? Ricardo, I know that there are times when your desire is to wring my neck... and there are times when, if I could, I would strangle you...

- It's not like that either...

- Oh no? What about our discussion last week? It wasn't long before disaster struck...

- But it didn't happen...

- Yes, but… if it happened…

- Nothing happened…

- Ricardo, I know you understand me...

Of course Ricardo understood her perfectly. His desire was to tell her that he wanted her gone. But he just couldn't say it… as much as it was what her intimate asked, he couldn't turn it into words… and that Ricardo couldn't understand. After all, that initial attraction he felt for Roseli faded day by day... so, why, instead of agreeing with the girl that it was better for each of them to go one way, did he try to insist on staying together?

- Ricardo, listen to me... it's for our good... we're both mistreating each other... my fear is that one day we'll end up killing each other... after all, if we're like this in two months, I don't want to I can't even imagine what it would be like a year from now...

Ricardo remained silent. He knew his mate was right. He knew he had to let her go. But he couldn't...why? Afraid of loneliness? Of being rejected by your partner? Would it be this?

- Ricardo... I've already decided... I'm going to leave you...

Upon hearing that phrase, the world collapsed around him like a bomb. Of course he wanted that too... but hearing from Roseli's mouth that she would leave him caught him off guard. Without uttering a word, he headed for the door... and out into the street. Roseli was left standing in the middle of the room, without action...she didn't expect her partner to react this way...

Ricardo began to walk aimlessly. He had no idea what he was doing... he just walked into the night. He didn't think about anything, his mind was a blank slate. he crossed the square that was close to his house, continued along the avenue that opened up in front of him... he simply walked, with no destination. After some time, when his legs started to hurt from the unexpected exercise, he decided to sit on a bench in another square, this one a little far from where he lived. With both hands on his face he stood still, not lost in his thoughts, because at the moment he wasn't thinking of anything... we can say that he was lost in infinity, without north, without knowing which way to go. And the decision he needed to make wasn't even that difficult... all he had to do was agree with his partner that the two really couldn't live in the same environment. Perhaps, if they pulled away, the flame of passion would reignite. And besides... what the hell!!! He himself had thought of talking to the girl about his separation. He was fully aware that the two weren't working out... But nevertheless... Richard stood there... motionless. He didn't move. You could hardly hear him breathing, such was his condition... what would become of his life from then on? No... he didn't want to be alone. Yes, his relationship with Roseli was frayed and he couldn't fix it anymore... But despite that, he couldn't see himself alone, without someone by his side. And Letícia, how would she look? Surely they would stop seeing each other so often... although... currently the little girl was in the care of her mother, and both he and his partner only visited the girl on weekends... it was then that he thought about the child again... what would it be like from now on?

Finally he got up... a few steps away from where he was, there was a bar, still open. He headed there...

Roseli stood in the middle of the room for some time, after her partner left. It took a few minutes for her astonishment to dissipate. She sat down on the couch for a while and put her right hand over her face for a few moments, thoughtful. He stayed in that position for a short period of time, but it seemed to her to be too long. Then, she got up, went to her room and started to pack her things. She would leave in the morning, to that house that had aroused her love and loathing... she would only take what she had brought with her when she joined Ricardo, not a needle more than that. She was proud of her. As for little Letícia, she had already talked to her almost mother-in-law. She didn't want to make life difficult for the little girl... the girl had become attached to her grandmother and the reciprocal was true. Her life was practically all work, she almost didn't have time to take care of her daughter, so she agreed with Ricardo's mother to leave the girl in her care. Of course, the lady loved the idea, since she felt very lonely... her husband had already died a few years ago and Ricardo wasn't exactly a very present son... which weighed on Roseli's decision to leave the girl with her grandmother was mainly the distance and the precariousness of the neighborhood where she would move. She would visit her daughter whenever she could... and that meant that not every weekend would be possible...

Dona Olga was very fond of her granddaughter. With Roseli's permission, she had placed the girl in a day care center close to her house and had gone to take and pick up the little girl every day. And the little one, when she saw her grandmother, already extended her little arms to her. Yes, the little one was in a much healthier environment than she was in the company of her mother, where she wandered from house to house. And that was what weighed on the girl's decision... her daughter's well-being was her main concern. So what, that Ricardo would have more chances of meeting his daughter than she would? From what he knew of his almost ex-partner, he would hardly visit the girl often... even though he liked his daughter very much. The problem was that, although while they were in separate homes he gave all the attention he could to the baby, after they moved in the same house and the little one started to stay with Dona Olga he hardly went to visit her.